Reflecting On Another Year

For the past 20 years I have had a tradition that I want to share with you.

Every year as I close my business office for the Holidays, I take the time to reflect on how I have lived the past year. I look at my values, priorities and goals and consider what I have learned, what I want to take into the New Year and what I want to change.

This year my thoughts seem to be racing around three very clear lessons.

 

My first life lesson of 2011

At 51 years old I am somewhat exasperated yet amazed that another year has blasted by and I am still figuring people out. Don’t you think I would have people figured out by now!!!???

People still surprise me, baffle me, disappoint and delight me.  I have learned that people are complicated and almost never what they appear to be and that can be for better or worse. Forest Gump had it right… People are like a box of chocolates and the not knowing what you are really getting every time you meet someone is a big life lesson.  I recently read that it takes 18 months to really know someone and my life experience would agree. Time allows people to show you who they really are. This year was a great reminder to take your time getting to know people and don’t rush the important process of building trust and relationships.

My second life lesson of 2011 is about business. The world is moving faster than most of us realize and you can’t take your foot off the gas or you will be left in the dust. Social Media has changed how we communicate and I have discovered that it can take an enormous amount of time, resources and money. I have also discovered how fast it moves and how much it can distract you from what really grows your business. Social Media has its benefits but I question the price we are paying for these limited benefits.  The fact remains… you can be seen on Social Media but you still need to call or come to me to get my business. Lesson is… some things never change – Relationship Marketing is what works. Get off line and SEE the people.

My third life lesson of 2011 is another one of those things that I have always know but keep getting distracted from. This lesson is about taking things for granted. People only change due to pain or insight and it ticks me off when I don’t take the easy route and learn from insight. I know I need to take care of myself and generally have but every so often I fall right off the wagon. I got my slap in the head a few weeks ago with my friend’s cancer diagnoses. (Hugs to Jen) Things are about to change in the healthy lifestyle category.

Overall, it’s been a great year and the foundation has been set for a future that has potential beyond even our wildest dreams. I am so grateful to have so many wonderful and unique people join me in the creation of a positive chain reaction that nurtures the human spirit around the world. We are making a difference.

One lesson I learned many years ago that serves as a cornerstone for my life is this…

Have faith and never give up on your dreams. When someone or something disappoints you don’t worry because there is always another someone or something coming… and it’s usually better.

 

My thoughts and vision are clear and I am thrilled to have this New Year be another chance for me to live my best life.

I pray that each of you is blessed in 2012 with the courage, passion, strength and commitment to live your best life too.

 

Give Until It Hurts by Angela Jones

I Love to give. Give and Give and Give. It doesn’t matter who and lots of times it doesn’t matter what.  Since I was young I have felt that my social status has only stood in the way of my giving. If I had more money, more time, or more connections I could give to everyone all the time!  As time went on I got a better paying job and my husband became more successful and I had more to give! Oh how wonderful! We could go for supper and when we got up to leave I could sneak extra money on the table for a tip, and I could take my entire Christmas bonus down to Mexico in small bills and hand out money until I got tired. Recently on my holiday I could even give the lady on the plane $50.00 to buy her grandchild a gift because the daughter just had a stroke and she had to beg her friends for money to even afford a plane ticket.  Of course I had to wait until my friends went to the bathroom to give this nice lady the money.  Why?  I am not sure why; giving is supposed to be good isn’t it?  Why would I hide it?  Maybe now that I think about it she was wearing more expensive shoes than me and her bag was brand name. I may have even smelt some Coco Chanel perfume when she put on her jacket.  But she must have needed the money, she said she needed the money, and of course I got something out of the exchange; it felt good and maybe she will go tell her daughter what a wonderful person I am!  I am sure a therapist wouldn’t find anything wrong with that logic, give so someone likes me….completely normal!

But as I give until my wallet is empty I sometimes second guess my motives.  Is giving that $50 away helping to make this world a better place?  Is it truly benefiting me in a positive way when I am stressed about paying down my credit cards and other debt?  Is it truly benefiting the other person in a positive way by just handing them money?  After I gave the young grandmother money I heard my husband make a comment about the value of a dollar earned and I began to question my own value that I put on hard earned money, and if maybe (for some of the people I was giving to) if lack of money was really their problem in the first place.

‘Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted’ – Albert Einstein. My acts of giving whether it be monetary or donating hours of my time at the expense of my job and family can defiantly be counted but did they really count?  Was I choosing wisely where to give?  Did the friend that I bought supper and drinks for all night really even notice, or was I giving for the wrong reason; my personal gratification.  There is a good article in O magazine this month by Elizabeth Gilbert.  She says years ago in India a monk warned her ‘Never give anyone more than they are emotionally capable of receiving, or they will have no choice but to hate you for it’.  She talks about our Christian values and how we were taught to give all we could and this really hit home for me.  Raised in Christian family I had this belief embedded in me that is unholy to hold personal wealth and we should give it all away if we want to get into heaven.  Aha! So here is the root of my limiting belief that I should give everything (even more than I have by the state of my credit cards).  The more I think about it the more that kind of giving seems to defeat the purpose.  I am always one to go on a rant about how spoiled all our kids are at Christmas and I hate what we have turned Christmas in to with everyone waiving around their credit cards and buying things for others that no one needs.  Was I really doing anything different…

As I got off the flight where I gave the grandmother the money I decided to take out a resolution early this year. No more mindless giving.  That is it, I am taking care of myself first and servicing my personal debt and the needs of my family.  It felt like a selfish decision but one I had to make.  Let me tell you, spending a week in a very poor city it was hard to keep this resolution, it tore my heart out a few times but I did it!  

As I was waiting in line to board the plane home and reflecting on how well I did, I noticed an older woman sleeping two gates over.  She looked like the same woman who was in the coffee line telling someone how she hated going home to snow.  I was going home to snow.  By this time the line was just about gone in front of me but I decided to run over and wake her up (the plane will wait 5 minutes right?) Sure enough she was on my flight and had fallen asleep at the wrong gate.  So we both got on the plane and all was fine.  And you know what….it felt good and maybe she will go and tell her daughter what a wonderful person I am!

I spent the flight home reflecting and deciding to change my early resolution. No matter what your social status, brightening the day of another can be accomplished.  This holiday season my situation may not allow me to make a difference with my five dollars but I will be making a difference every chance I get with my five minutes.  Happy Giving everyone!

Angela Jones
Thanks Ang for sharing. You are and Angel!

You can make a difference! The question is… Will You?

Life is FAST these days leaving many of us looking for a place to stop and catch our breath.
A place and time to relax, rest, reflect, re-think life and rejuvenate your being.
Oh, just the thought of it relaxes me. We’ll the universe has a funny way of responding
to our hearts desire and here’s how it responded to mine.
I was invited to meet the Kristoph the Founder of the Sanctum Retreat.
So, off I went to Caroline Alberta to check this place out and I wasn’t prepared for this precious
and special place. The tranquility and peace was beyond beautiful. I didn’t want to leave.
After a few hours Kristoph shared that donations are down and this charity needed help to stay open.
So here we are. My need for a retreat and the Sanctums need for donations has created an opportunity
of a life time for 100 people with the opportunity to attend one of two ReSolutions Retreats. 100% of the money will go to help the Sanctum and
the Sanctum will help the attendees renew their being and invigorate them for a true NEW YEAR!
Here’s the details…

2012 ReSolutions Retreat

The New Year is a time of renewal as we rejuvenate our body, mind and soul for all that is new and refreshing. The 2012 ReSolutions Retreat will re-energize you and empower you to take your 2012 Resolutions to new heights. Join us to rest your body & mind and embrace new and healthier approaches to life. It’s time for a new beginning.

Your weekend will include…

• A cozy  room & delicious home cooked meals at the beautiful Sanctum Retreat Center in Caroline, Alberta our place of choice for our ReSolution’s Retreat. It’s less than 2 hours from Calgary & Edmonton.
• Nature, fresh air, peace and quiet – Yoga & Meditation
• Dream Board & Visualization, Mindfulness – Re-Think what you think.
• Fun, positive and supportive

Holiday Special Until Dec.24, 2011 – Only $399 per person

($200 charitable donation receipt from the Sanctum Retreat pp)

After Dec. 24, 2011 – $599 per person - 50 people maximum per weekend.

Register Today! Service@htrio.com

 https://www.myhtrio.com/HTRIOforms/HTRIO-2012_SanctumRetreat.pdf

January 6-8, 2012 OR February 17 -19, 2012

FAQ – Yes, Men, Women & Couples may attend. No, this is not a religious based program and everyone is welcomed. Yes, the Sanctum is rooted in the Catholic faith but is not connected to the ReSolutions Retreat. Yes, the ReSolutions Retreat is a totally different program than what is offered through ReSolutions Chapters.

The Perfect Gift For Anyone Needing a Break, a Rest, a Fresh Start or Some Peace.

We look forward to gathering men and women that are ready to make a difference…starting with
ourselves and the Sanctum.

Be ready for the year you LOVED YOUR LIFE!

On another note I want to bring your attention to a family that needs our support from Alison & Kari…

Thursday, December 15th we will be holding a support/fundraiser/silent auction for one of our own who is experiencing the worst news of her life at the supposed “happiest time of the year for families”.
Charissa, a friend of mine, and a local waitress (loved by all), who works at our own West Creek Pub in Chestermere, has just found out that her 5 year old son, Owen has been diagnosed with Stage 4 Lymphoma. The prognosis is not good.
We as a community have come together asking for donations, silent auction items and cards/letters of support to allow Charissa, a single mother, working two jobs to stay at her son’s bedside at the Children’s Hospital in Calgary.
We will be accepting these items at the West Creek Pub – 101, 300 Merganser Drive, Chestermere, Alberta all day until after the Flames game that same evening. The media has always played a role in supporting worthy fundraisers such as this one is. Please if you could pass this along through your network for Charissa, I know it would mean the world to her. She is a humble, stand-up, hard-working mother and she deserves to be allowed to stay with her son for as long as it takes.
Please contact Alison Cassidy at home (403)280-0379 or Karie Belcastro at 403-554-0377 for donation pick up or please send your donation directly to the West Creek Pub in Chestermere by Thursday.
I realize this is short notice but he does not have long and we as a community have been rocked and deeply saddened by this news which makes us want to jump into action. It should be noted that all of the waitresses at the pub will be donating all of their tips and the Owner will be donating all monies over cost.
Looking for donations: Please if anyone can donate items, or even if you have any contacts who can help with donations or getting the word out there for this mother and young boy, I will pick up any donations if you are unable to get them to the pub. We are also looking into opening an account for them at a bank,we will hopefully have it set up by tomorrow.
Lets all pull together and do whatever we can as a community and a city.

Thanks in advance for your support, coverage and help.

Alison Cassidy & Karie Belcastro

This link makes helping easy…$5 from each of us can make a huge difference. http://www.eventbrite.com/event/1466844371/efblike

You have big opportunities to make a Big difference by giving a little. Be part of the chain reaction!!!!

May you and yours be blessed with an abundance of love, health and purpose.

Melanie

Are you ready to spice up your Holidays with THE BIG GIVE on Wednesday Dec. 21?

See You There!

Melanie

 

The Spirit of Giving

The Holidays are the Spirit of Giving?!

So, why when the Holidays are over the number one questions asked is, “So what did you GET for Christmas?”
As years go by we talk and talk about the season of giving and good-will to mankind. We hear more about food banks and families that will have less than abundance under the tree and to feast on. Some really step it up and give but the truth is that most don’t.
On Saturday I was crazy enough to go to the massive and packed super mall in Calgary and observed 3 people ringing bells around the Salvation Army Kettle.
They make helping others easy and express gratitude for every cent given to help those in need.

I decided to take a break and watch for a while and I was shocked by what I saw:
In only 10 minutes over 100 people walked by the kettle and no one gave a cent!

I couldn’t believe it! I know that every single person that walked by could have give a dime, penny or something but they gave nothing. Then on the news they confirmed what I saw…Donations are way down for the Salvation Army’s Annual Kettle Drive.
I think I understand why.

We need to think SMALLER!

I will say this again: We need to think SMALLER!

Most people don’t think they matter or if they can’t do or give in grand style don’t bother. Sadly, one person at a time that doesn’t show up or put up unravels the power of community. If everyone gives a little everything is possible but one weak link can destroy our power.
Giving can be showing up, a hug, a thank-you, time to talk, a note, an invitation, food, clothing, gifts or money and it all makes a difference. Even the smallest gift can make the biggest difference.
I challenge you to be a giver because YOU MATTER.

Drop a nickel in EVERY Salvation Army Kettle if you can give more go ahead if you can only give a penny the do but NEVER NOT GIVE.
Being a Go Giver in your own SMALL way is how we as a community make a BIG difference in the world around us.

Now here’s the really important part:
Giving without expectation or judgment is how you fill your heart with joy.

When I see a homeless person I give them food or money and my friends will often ask me why I do that because they might take my money and buy alcohol, drugs or cigarettes with it. That always shocks me because I don’t care if they do, if that’s what they need then so be it. They are someone’s child and I would hope that if one of my children ever was this broken that someone would take the time to talk to them, care and share some change that just might be used to buy food or take the bus to a shelter.
Re-think the pennies in your pocket and know that every penny counts and remember… YOU MATTER!
May you be a Go Giver 365 days a year and soon you will discover that giving is returned 10 fold in the most unexpected ways.

With Love,

Melanie

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED THE 1930′s, 40′s, 50′s, 60′s and 70′s!

For some time I have been telling parents to lighten up. I watch today’s parents full of stress and Thanks to this e-mail I received today it’s clear why?

STOP! Read, laugh and re-think.

Hugs to all!

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED THE 1930′s, 40′s, 50′s, 60′s and 70′s!

 First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were Pregnant. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, Tuna from a can and didn’t get tested for diabetes. Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, locks on doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had baseball caps not helmets on our heads. As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, no booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, bald tires and sometimes no brakes. Riding in the back of a pick-up truck on a warm day was always a special treat.

 We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle. We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and no one actually died from this. We ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter and bacon. We drank Kool-Aid made with real white sugar. And, we weren’t overweight.  WHY?  Because we were always outside playing…that’s why! We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day. And, we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride them down the hill; only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

 We did not have PlayStations, Nintendo’s and X-boxes. There were no video games, no 150 channels on cable, No video movies or DVD’s, no surround-sound or CD’s, No cell phones, No personal computers, no Internet and no chat rooms. WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them! We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.

 We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever. We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes. We rode bikes or walked to a friend’s house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them.

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn’t had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!! The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. they actually sided with the law! These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever. The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.

 If YOU are one of them? CONGRATULATIONS!  You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the Lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good. Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn’t it?